Finding My Voice: A Review of The Art of Everyday Assertiveness by Patrick King
In a world where pleasantries often overshadow our true desires, Patrick King’s The Art of Everyday Assertiveness: Speak Up. Say No. Set Boundaries. Take Back Control. felt like a beacon of hope. I stumbled upon it at a time when I was questioning my own patterns of people-pleasing and feeling overwhelmed by the need to constantly accommodate others. Perhaps you’ve been there too, feeling the weight of others’ expectations pressing down on your shoulders.
King, a social skills coach and a fellow recovering “nice guy,” offers readers a framework to break free from the “chronically nice” tendencies that can suffocate our own needs. From the very first page, his relatable anecdotes made me feel seen, as if he was speaking directly to my heart. He dives deep into the psychology behind our fear of assertiveness—shedding light on how ingrained beliefs and social conditioning can dictate our behaviors.
The book is structured around a 28-day Assertiveness Action Plan, providing readers with actionable steps to regain control over their lives. King emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance, empathy, and finding that delicate balance between being assertive and agreeable. One of his striking insights for me was the way he reframed the very act of saying “no.” Instead of viewing it through a lens of guilt, he encourages readers to see it as a powerful act of self-care. “Saying no is saying yes to yourself,” he insists, and I couldn’t agree more.
King’s writing style feels conversational and warm, making it easy to absorb his teachings. I found myself marking several passages that truly resonated. For example, his observation that “if you don’t ask, the answer is always no” lingered with me long after I closed the book. The abundance of real-life examples made his advice feel practical and applicable, rather than wishy-washy self-help jargon.
Notably, the book doesn’t just tell you to be assertive; it provides specific scenarios and dialogues to practice. I appreciated this pragmatic approach; it isn’t enough to just read about assertiveness—we need to practice it, and King gives us the tools to do just that. The pacing is brisk yet thoughtful, keeping the reader engaged while weaving in essential lessons on human behavior.
The Art of Everyday Assertiveness is an essential read for anyone who feels overwhelmed by the demands of life or struggles with saying no. Whether you’re a chronic people-pleaser like me, or just someone looking to set healthier boundaries, this book will guide you on the journey to reclaiming your voice. I walked away not just with insights, but with a renewed sense of agency over my life—a gift I didn’t know I needed until I read this book.
If you’ve ever found yourself frustrated by the need to please others or dreadfully accommodating your surroundings, I wholeheartedly recommend picking up this transformative read. Patrick King has crafted not just a guide, but a companion for anyone ready to embark on the journey of standing tall and speaking up. After all, the life you want is waiting for you—not just the one others design for you.